The Modern Dilemma Of Choosing A Life Partner: Tradition Vs. Personal Choice

(MENAFN- Tribal News Network) The world has rapidly evolved, and with it, every aspect of life has seen significant changes, including the way we choose our life partners. In the past, marriage decisions were often made by the elders of the family, and their preferences were paramount.

Families would usually arrange matches within their clan or, if outside, ensure the chosen family was reputable, and the bride was of good character. Wealth, dowry, and materialistic concerns were not priorities then. Elders would often finalize matches without even consulting the bride or groom.

However, today, the criteria for choosing a partner have changed significantly. It's no longer about the respectability of the family or the preferences of the elders; instead, the decision largely lies in the hands of the individuals getting married.

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With increased education and awareness, it is now seen as both a legal and religious right to ask the bride and groom for their consent. If families are too strict, young people often resort to court marriages. As the saying goes, "Jab Mian Biwi Razi tu kia kry ga Qazi (When the bride and groom agree, what can the judge do?)"

To understand modern expectations, TNN spoke with several unmarried individuals about their ideal life partners. Most of the women expressed a desire for a wealthy, educated, and handsome partner. They explained that wealth is essential in today's world, education brings understanding, and a stylish and attractive husband is every girl's dream.

However, they also acknowledged that meeting all these desires is often just a fantasy; reality seldom matches such expectations. Yes, it might happen for the lucky few, but that is quite rare.

When asked why finding a life partner is more complicated today, many women pointed out that while problems existed in the past, the couple often endured life's challenges together. Back then, marriages were arranged by the elders, and both parties were expected to compromise and adjust.

Today, social media and modern education have shifted these decisions into the hands of young people, making their consent mandatory. If parents exert too much pressure, children might threaten drastic actions like elopement or even suicide, or they might simply go for a court marriage.

Another factor complicating marriage decisions is the delay caused by the search for an ideal partner. For example, if a woman cannot find her "perfect" match, she may turn down several proposals, either marrying late or missing the ideal age for marriage altogether.

When men were asked why choosing a life partner is so challenging in today's world, many said they mostly prefer love marriages. However, especially in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa and among Pashtun communities, there are significant challenges to this. Either their own families don't agree, or the girl's family objects, causing delays.

Furthermore, finding a partner with all the desired qualities can be quite daunting. Suppose a man wants a partner who is beautiful, tall, has long hair, big eyes, and is highly educated – finding all these traits in one person becomes quite a task.

On the other hand, some men emphasized that they value a life partner who is attractive and shares intellectual compatibility. They argue that a woman doesn't have to be conventionally beautiful; even a girl with a simple appearance might look like the most beautiful woman in the world if he likes her. In essence, what is ordinary for others is extraordinary for him.

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