Late-Night Texting: A Silent Disturbance And How To Respect Boundaries

(MENAFN- Tribal News Network) Every society, religion, and institution has its own set of rules, customs, and moral obligations. A responsible individual adheres to these values. Just like Islam teaches the etiquette of 'Istezaan' (seeking permission before entering a home or room), there are unwritten etiquettes for using social media. These include respecting others' privacy, maintaining a polite tone in conversations, avoiding unnecessary private messages, and being mindful of timing when reaching out, especially to friends or family.

Recently, I posted a question in several facebook groups, asking why people stay up late at night. The responses were diverse. Some people work for international companies, where night shifts are common. Others struggle with insomnia, while journalists and newspaper editors often work late hours. Some stay awake to take advantage of data packages or to chat with friends abroad.

Up to this point, all seems reasonable. However, messaging people at odd hours, especially professionals who follow a typical 9-to-5 or similar schedule, can be extremely bothersome. Many professionals use the night for rest, and messaging them during these hours can disturb their sleep unless it is an urgent matter. While some switch their phones to "Do Not Disturb" mode, many do not, for fear of missing important calls. A forwarded message or a casual "hello" at 2 a.m. can completely disrupt their sleep.

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Michelle Auckland, co-host of the "Late Night Drive" program, writes that older people, especially parents, are cautious about missing any message, worrying it could be an emergency. She advises caution when texting late at night. If you must send a message, schedule it for when the recipient is likely to be awake, such as after breakfast.

What do etiquette experts say about this? Sarah Jane Ho, in her book "Mind Your Manners: How to Be Your Best Self in Any Situation," advises sending messages between 8 a.m. and 10 p.m. However, she admits to bending this rule when it comes to close friends and family.

Thomas P. Farley, also known as Mr. Manners, recommends refraining from sending emails or texts when you know someone is asleep. "There's nothing quite like receiving a message in the evening that wakes you up and prevents you from falling back asleep," he warns.

Nick Leighton adds, "Many people use the 'Do Not Disturb' mode, but some don't because they don't want to miss an important message. If someone's texts are disrupting your sleep, let them know to wait until morning unless it's urgent."

Ho suggests silencing notifications for non-urgent contacts, as she prefers not to control others' behavior. "If your late-night message disturbs me, I won't reply until morning," she explains.

While Ho's approach is practical, the ideal solution is to be considerate of others' time. Whether it's a friend, family member, or colleague, respect their rest and only text in emergencies. After work hours, people have personal lives to attend to.

Men, in particular, should be mindful when messaging female colleagues. In Pakistani society, this can be seen as inappropriate, and in some cases, these interactions can lead to misunderstandings, broken relationships, or even violence. It's always best to discuss work-related matters during office hours to avoid crossing boundaries.

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