7 Questions Every Parent Must Ask Their Child's Teacher

We leave our children in schools for up to eight hours a day, sometimes more. Their teachers spend more time with them than we do during the week. And whilst the only voice that truly matters is the parents', it would be a stretch to say that the teacher our children spend so much time with, has little to no impact at all on their mindset and wellbeing.

What really happens at school? Children, usually exhausted after a long day of keeping it together, respond to our questions with monosyllabic grunts.“Yes”,“Okay”, and“Fine” are the most common, barely discernible responses to be expected at pick up.

The longer the day, the less the parent is informed about what happens. So, I decided to take things into my own hands and gather concerns other parents have expressed, or experienced, to create a list of questions that you must ask your teacher. None of these answers are intuitive and some of these will shock you.

What motivated me to write this column is a little disturbing: My friend's son begged his teacher to go to the toilet because he had to do number two. The teacher dismissed his repeated request. The child came home in tears, in pain and in fear. I understand the concept of trying to build the ability to focus, time manage your visit to the toilet, and cultivate the ability to control your bodily movements, to accomplish something. You cannot, after all take an extended toilet break in a professional tennis match. But there is a way to teach children. And this is not the way. There is a way to understand whether this child is really in need, or whether he can wait.

What bothers me most of all is how adults assume that children are playing truant. There is no inherent trust and faith in the child. There is no connection. It is time we began to ask the questions that matter so we can teach our children through connection, not fear.

Question 1: Can my child go to the toilet when he/she needs?

Please ask the toilet policy and how this is communicated to the child. You can then work with the teacher and prepare your child as to what to expect.

Question 2: Are children allowed to play on their iPad during break time and as a reward?

There have been instances when children are on their iPads when there is no education involved. Once, a child was allowed to play a 'game' when he had finished his schoolwork early. Please ask this question as this practice is more common than you think.

Question 3: Do children use VR Headsets and headphones?

It is absolutely unnecessary to expose young children to VR headsets and headphones. The science on the damage they do, is extensive. A simple Google search will provide alarming studies. There is not enough scientific proof that supports the use of extensive ed-tech on the wellbeing of children and their ability to learn.

Question 4: Do you take away playtime from children as punishment?

The irony is this: children behave better and are more regulated when they have more playtime. Taking away playtime is damaging to the general wellbeing of the classroom and also extremely disheartening for a child. It accomplishes nothing except frustration and fear within the child.

Question 5: Do you have time-outs? Is there detention?

A school I visited vehemently denied they had time-outs. But then I discovered that they called it a 'calm down corner', which is a prettily worded 'time-out'. Any time a child is left alone or made to sit in a corner when they have done something 'unacceptable', it is a time-out. Other fancy words include 'after hours'.

Question 6: What is your hydration policy for the children?

Are children allowed to keep water bottles at their desks? If they are thirsty, are they allowed a water break? How often do children drink water? And do they get reminders to hydrate? Where can they fill water and for younger children, would someone be available to monitor this?

Question 7: What is your phone policy, smart watch policy and computer policy?

Are children allowed to use these in the hallways? How do you control phone usage? What is your social media policy on campus? What are the consequences of using them?

One would think that these questions need not be asked. But it is essential to understand what it is that goes on in schools and what your child is experiencing. These are valid queries, and they concern the wellbeing of your child. Stay tuned for part 2.

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