Tuesday, 02 January 2024 12:17 GMT

Silenced Husbands, Shattered Homes


(MENAFN- Kashmir Observer)
Representational photo

By Dr. Fiaz Maqbool Fazili

In the quiet, hallowed halls of my clinic - amid the sterile scent of antiseptic and the distant hum of the city - a different kind of pain is often confessed. It is not a pain that shows up on an X-ray or can be measured by a blood test. It is a silent, festering ache of the spirit, carried by men who, in the public eye, appear to be the very pillars of strength and composure.

They are husbands, fathers, professionals - the supposed architects of their own domains. Yet, in private, they share with me stories of profound and unspoken misery: a life of quiet compromise and emotional desolation. They come not seeking a prescription, but a voice - pleading that their untold stories be heard in a world seemingly concerned only with the woes of women.

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These men - whether newly married with dreams still fresh in their eyes or veterans of decades-long unions - narrate a chillingly similar tale: a story of apathy and emotional neglect. They speak of returning home exhausted after long days of work, consciously leaving their shoes - and their egos - at the doorstep, hoping to create a sanctuary of peace. They practise resilience as a daily ritual, swallowing retorts, accepting blame for mishaps not their own, and bending over backward to appease an ever-present sense of dissatisfaction that seems to emanate from their spouses.

They operate on the sacred belief that marriage is not disposable - not a shirt to be changed when worn. To them, it is a lifelong covenant, a tapestry woven with shared history, children, and social fabric. Yet, they often find themselves standing alone in that belief. Their spouses, they lament, show little willingness to reciprocate - to leave their own egos outside the sanctum of home.

The consequences of this one-sided emotional labour are devastating. Outside, these men may appear perfectly fine - smartly dressed, professionally composed, even jovial with friends (often avoiding female company to prevent misinterpretation). They are masters of disguise, hiding a deep pain behind practiced smiles. Few know the stories behind those smiles: the sting of constant mockery over small mistakes, the humiliation of being ridiculed in front of guests, the slow corrosion caused by daily taunts about their careers, families, or mannerisms.

Every act - from how they parent to how they load the dishwasher - is met with sarcasm or rejection, sending a message that they are perpetually inadequate, perpetually wrong.

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