Decoding Modern Etiquette: Why Good Manners Still Matter In A Digital World

(MENAFN- Khaleej Times)

It may sound like some quaint English custom, only seen in period dramas like Downton Abbey. But etiquette is much more than that. Following a set of customs in social situations, having good manners and being thoughtful towards others can do wonders for your career and social life. Many people are now turning to etiquette coaches and schools to help them out.“Etiquette gives people tools to navigate modern life with intention - from job interviews to dinner tables,” says UAE-based Israa Shaheen, a business etiquette and international protocol consultant.

While etiquette has evolved from 1920s British aristocrats like the Earl of Grantham, have standards slipped over the decades?“They haven't necessarily slipped, they've definitely shifted,” adds Shaheen.“Every generation has its own version of 'respectful behaviour' shaped by technology, pace of life, and cultural norms.”

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What's considered polite today may look like the formality of the past, but the essence of etiquette (such as consideration for others) is still very much needed.“The real challenge is that we now live in a faster, more distracting world, which sometimes makes courtesy feel optional when it's actually not,” she adds.

“What once felt like second nature, such as greeting someone with eye contact, arriving on time, or dressing appropriately for the occasion, has given way to a more casual, often inconsistent, social code,” adds Samira Hammadi, founder of the Modern Etiquette Consultancy. She also believes the core values of etiquette, such as respect, awareness, and consideration, are still deeply relevant.“We are not witnessing a disappearance of manners, but rather a transformation in how they show up in daily life.”

How about living in a multi-cultural country like the UAE, and a fast-paced city like Dubai? Dubai is a true melting pot of cultures, and what feels normal to one person might be completely off-putting to another.“One person's directness may be seen as rude to someone else. A lack of cultural awareness, especially around hierarchy, hospitality, and personal space, leads to many unintentional missteps,” explains Shaheen. And while it's an international city, etiquette experts say it's important not to overlook the local context. Respecting Emirati customs, values, and social norms isn't just polite, it shows awareness and emotional intelligence.“This includes respecting local customs and the UAE's values. Simple things like dressing appropriately in public spaces such as malls are not only courteous. They reflect an understanding of the city's unique social fabric,” adds Hammadi.

Digital age

The growing use of mobile phones in society has probably been the greatest disruptor to etiquette's age-old rules and laws. Agreeing on whether phones are allowed on the table during a meal, or in a meeting was not an issue 25 years ago. Now they are huge and often controversial topics.“In many ways, the new luxury is presence - being fully engaged in the moment and making others feel like they have your undivided attention,” says etiquette guru Myka Meier, nicknamed 'America's Queen of Good Manners'.“That means silencing your phone at meals, keeping it off the table in meetings, and being mindful not to scroll in company. Modern etiquette is about connection, not perfection, and technology should enhance, not interrupt, our person-to-person interactions.”

Most of us would admit we are addicted to our phones and feel anxious if we are not checking them every few minutes, especially during the working day. So, how do we factor in this near-constant phone usage even when it goes against etiquette rules?“Do excuse yourself if you must check your phone, just like you would if you had to step away from a conversation. It shows respect for the person you're with,” says Meier.

Experts say don't place your phone on the table during meals or meetings because it sends a subtle message that you're waiting for something more important to come along. People can feel that, and it immediately breaks the energy of the room.“Etiquette in the digital age isn't about being rigid; it's about being intentional. Respecting people's time, tone, and boundaries is more relevant than ever,” adds Shaheen.“The people in front of you deserve your full attention, don't let your phone distract you from that.”

Another trend that has tested etiquette rules is working from home and how to behave on video calls, as opposed to face-to-face meetings. So, what do etiquette coaches recommend?“Being punctual on calls, dressing appropriately, speaking with clarity, and remaining attentive are all ways we show consideration in digital spaces,” says Hammadi.“Etiquette has not disappeared. It has simply moved into new formats. The key is to remain mindful that behind every screen is a human being.”

What still matters

As the way we work and socialise has changed, the rules of good etiquette need to adapt to these changing environments. We need to learn good manners in new settings and formats, but some core values still remain.“First impressions still matter. What you wear, how you enter a room, introduce yourself, and engage with others leaves a lasting impression,” states Hammadi.

Active listening is another social skill that is often underestimated. Many of us focus on what to say next, but the ability to truly listen, ask thoughtful questions, and allow others to speak without interruption builds more trust than most people realise.“Plus the ability to introduce yourself and others with ease, as well as knowing how to exit a conversation gracefully, are both quiet skills that leave a lasting impact,” adds Hammadi.

Eye contact is another core value. It may be simple but is surprisingly rare.“In a time where most people are glued to screens or distracted by their thoughts, direct and calm eye contact has become a forgotten art. It signals presence, confidence, and respect. People are often surprised by how much it changes the tone of an interaction, especially in business,” she explains.“Modern etiquette is less about impressing and more about connecting.”

Gender rules

There are plenty of conventional etiquette tips around gender, such as opening a door for a woman, but are they relevant in our modern, multicultural society?“In etiquette, women initiate the handshake, not men. It's a subtle rule, but especially in multicultural or formal settings, it reflects respect and cultural awareness, in both business and social interactions,” says Shaheen. But she feels that we should let go of the old rule that a man must always enter a room or space first, ahead of the woman with him.“In modern settings, order of entry is based more on practicality, not gender. Holding the door open is still polite, but insisting on entering first isn't necessary anymore.”

William Hanson, who runs The English Manner platform, says etiquette can be taught but you have to want to learn.“It should be like learning to drive a car. At first, you are so focused on keeping your eyes on the road and the car going forward in a straight line you can't chat to the passengers.”

But once you pass your test and get used to it all, the driving comes naturally,“and you do manage to chat away,” he adds.“Good manners and etiquette should be like that. A muscle memory, of sorts, that just happens when you need it to.”

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