How To Get Control Of Your Time

(MENAFN- The Conversation) You wake up at 7:00 and reflexively reach for your phone. Between the stream of emails, WhatsApps and breaking news alerts, you see a worrying reminder: you averaged 11 hours of daily screen time last week. You swipe the notification away and open TikTok, where a woman in a matching athleisure set and glossy, slicked-back ponytail urges you to“get ready with me for my 5-9 before my 9-5”.

You think about getting out of bed for a workout or meditation before you start answering those emails. But before you know it, it's 8:57 – and if you don't get off the apps and onto your computer, you'll be late.

Sound familiar? Though many people have more leisure time now than in the past, paradoxically, more free time comes with increased time pressure . For many of us, it feels as if we don't have control over our time – rather, time is controlling us. This is because our collective experience of time both comes from and governs society.

Instead of saving us time, the pace of modernity has led to many of us feeling as if our time is slipping away. And any time we“gain back”, we devote – by necessity or choice – to making more money, maybe through a side hustle . Losing control over time can have negative consequences for both physical and mental wellbeing.

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We are trapped in a perpetual cycle of rushing to survive and consume. But consumption also takes time , so the time available to enjoy our newly acquired possessions declines. You buy a faster new computer, but then need to spend multiple, frustrating hours configuring it to your preferences.

Even trying to save time by mastering a productivity hack or reading a self-help book takes (you guessed it) time .

As time use researchers, we often grapple with an uncomfortable truth – your time is not fully yours – it belongs to us all. Time is a network good . We live in a web of time: giving, taking and sharing time with everyone around us. In other words, the decisions and actions of the people around you shape how much time you have.

This presents a catch-22. Friends , family, colleagues and even neighbours require our time, and we need theirs, too. We share time with our social network members because we need strong ties for our wellbeing . However, building lasting relationships means that we have to control our time in order to share it with others.

Unfortunately, we don't all have the same amount of control. Socioeconomic and demographic factors – gender , financial circumstances, age , race , and where you live – all influence how you can make decisions about time. These factors shape how we can interact with others.

Even seemingly mundane choices, such as how many extra minutes of sleep you give yourself in the morning, are shaped by societal expectations, power structures and economic constraints. If your job starts at 8am and your commute is two hours, it is unlikely that you can afford extra time to sleep in the mornings. If you are a parent, you might have to wake up even earlier to make sure that everyone has their breakfast and lunch packed for school.

This is why the hundreds of self-help articles telling you how to optimise your time by carefully budgeting every minute of it never manage to give you full control.

Breaking this vicious cycle starts with understanding, then practising self-compassion in the face of the demands on your time.

Gaining control over your time starts with“why”. We don't all have the luxury of saying no to tasks we deem unnecessary or unpleasant.

We can, however, ask ourselves why we are spending our time on certain things. Before your next decision, big or small, try asking yourself: why am I doing this?

If the answer is rooted in social pressure, outdated norms, or an obligation toward someone who does not deserve the gift of your precious time, consider how you could switch to doing something else.

Try to spend your time on activities and with people who nourish you, enriching your moments. You may not be able to completely avoid spending part of your time as your boss dictates. But understanding the larger power dynamics shaping your personal situation and your time will help you approach decisions with conscious intention , giving you greater control over this irreplaceable resource.

Regularly questioning the reason behind your actions will reveal the social patterns driving your decision-making processes. Why did you agree to do something, only to regret it later? Why are you always the one donating time to emotional labour at the office?

Consistently asking“why” creates a habit of mindfulness, and will give you the insight needed to begin to make more informed choices that reflect your true priorities. Ultimately, gaining more control over your time is not about rigidly adhering to a schedule or productivity hacks. It is impossible to subject every minute of your existence to your will – time is not yours to hold on to.

But you can make the most of the time you do have control over by making conscious decisions that align with your own desires and goals. Like one of our research participants, you may soon find yourself looking in the mirror and proclaiming:“I love time! Time lets me become!”

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