(MENAFN- Khaleej Times)

“Just put your tongue against the roof of your mouth and stay mum,” she says. It's a bit of a shock to speak to someone for the first time and be given this directive. But, well, I guess that's why I'm here. To confront the reality of my over-justifying mind.

This is Wishtok, a UAE-based platform aimed at furnishing you with the tools to better your mental and spiritual health. Whether it's a life or mindset coach you need (I learn I do), mental health consultants, tarot reader, Vastu guru, or numerology master, this app connects you to a specialist who can help you find the peace you need. More than 300 professionals have signed up for the app - and they offer culturally aligned solutions that will resonate with you. Or, such is the pitch.

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I did what one would need to, to connect with the experts - download said app, create a profile, go to a tab labelled Mindful Living and pick the type of coach you need, and when presented with options, pick the person who suits you best. The list of options offers you a glimpse into the type of professional they are, the languages they speak, the number of years they've been at it, reviews, and a little bit about them.

My pick is Chetna Chakravarthy, a life coach who also happens to be the CEO of Wishtok. The session is over an audio call through the app. And when we speak, there's an immediate feeling of connection - this would well be because we are chattering away in Hinglish - an Indian special where English and Hindi meld together to form impossible words that only make sense to those of us who speak it.

Coach or counsellor

First, she explains the difference between a therapist and a life coach, and why having one may not preclude you from enlisting the aid of the other. While a therapist dives into the causal factors of events, offers insights, and helps you find your path to mental wellness, it all begins with a focus on the past. For a life coach, the focus is the future - who you want to be, what you want to accomplish, and the practical steps you can take to get there.

In a 60-minute session, we first identify the goal I want to work towards-being unapologetically myself within the next year and getting fit (she calls it 'releasing weight').

Words matter - we know this. Often, a memory will fade but the term attached to an incident will forever define how you feel about the moment. Similarly, words affect you - your weight-loss goals (implies you want to lose something, not an amiable thought); a self-deprecating jest (before someone else can take a bite out of you, you do it yourself). And these spur-of-the-moment reactions become habits. Basically, we are conditioning ourselves to feel a certain way by repeating terms that may be doing more harm than good and reinforcing our beliefs. It's like being stuck in quicksand - unless you calm down and look for a practical way out, you are only going to sink further faster.

Chakravarthy, therefore, tells me that if I want to be unapologetic, it must begin by stopping myself from saying sorry all the time, from over justifying, from addressing the concerns that my own mind is firing at me. (This is the 'stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth' comment.)

Next, she calls for me to list five real-world instances where I might feel the need to justify myself and how I'd prefer to address it instead.

For the weight release, she asks me to make two gentle tweaks in lifestyle - walk for 30 mins three times a week and eat one healthy meal in a day. Then, she says:“Do not go overboard, even if you want to.” The idea is to inculcate a habit, not overwhelm yourself. You can up the ante a month on.

Yes, we need someone to be honest with us - minus any sugar dusting sometimes. But at over Dh400 a session it is a steep price to pay. When I bring this up, she says,“Do what you can afford. Talking to someone who revs you up once a month or once in two months is better than not talking to someone at all.”

Change can come as a tsunami, or it can lap at you in gentle waves - the thing to remember is you are affecting a difference in your life at a pace that works for you. Remember, you are unique, there's no reason your path to a better you shouldn't be. I'm signing up as I write this.

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