Dear Men: Household Chores Are Your Responsibility Too

(MENAFN- Kashmir Observer)
Representational Photo

By Shah Zeeshan Fazil

In today's world, women are earning degrees, climbing career ladders, and becoming breadwinners. Yet at home, an outdated script still plays out: one where women do most of the housework and caregiving, regardless of their job title or paycheck.

The numbers speak loud and clear. Across developed countries, women spend an average of 2.5 more hours each day on unpaid care work than men. In the U.S., women are 40% more likely to plan meals and do the grocery shopping. Even in Sweden, often praised for gender equality, women still do 65% of all housework. And during the COVID-19 crisis, women shouldered 75% of the extra childcare.

This gap doesn't shrink even when women earn more or have higher degrees. Education or income doesn't level the playing field at home. Women are still expected to manage the house, while men are seen as“helping”, a word that quietly suggests the work is not really theirs to do.

It's not just about mopping floors or cooking dinner. The real weight lies in the mental load: keeping track of birthdays, remembering to buy soap, booking doctor appointments, managing school forms. It's a constant, invisible job. Many women say this silent planning is more draining than the chores themselves.

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The consequences are serious. The imbalance causes resentment and fatigue. It strains relationships and forces women to scale back on their careers. It affects sleep, health, and emotional well-being. On the flip side, research shows that couples who split household work equally enjoy better relationships, more intimacy, and lower chances of divorce.

So how do we fix it?

It starts with changing how we think and talk. Men aren't“helping” at home, they're sharing responsibility. Emotional labor must be counted as real work. Kids need to see both parents folding laundry or packing lunches, not just one. Schools and media must stop reinforcing the idea that women are naturally better at caregiving.

On a practical level, couples can use shared calendars and chore charts. Families can talk openly about expectations. And governments can pitch in too, with paid family leave, better childcare options, and workplace flexibility.

Even a simple question like“Who cooks dinner?” can reveal deeper truths. Cooking takes time, thought, and energy. It's not just a task, it's about who gets to rest, who decides, who carries the daily burden.

True equality means both men and women seeing home life as shared ground. It means recognizing rest not as a luxury for women, but as a right. The real revolution isn't just happening in offices or courts, it's in kitchens, playrooms, and laundry baskets.

To finish what we started, we must rewrite the rules of home. Together.

• Writer is a resident of New Qazi Bagh, KP Road, Anantnag.

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