(MENAFN- Khaleej Times)

If you thought the future would be sleek, predictable, and full of flying cars, think again.

According to Saxo Bank's annual Outrageous Predictions, 2026 is shaping up like a fever dream cooked up by a quantum computer binge-watching rom-coms and sci-fi thrillers.

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Forget boring forecasts - this is the year where Taylor Swift single-handedly boosts global GDP, your dog goes on weight-loss pills, and Elon Musk casually claims Martian real estate like it's beachfront property in Miami.

Oh, and crypto? Yeah, that's toast.

Quantum computing breakthrough shakes global finance

“Q-Day” arrives early, and quantum computers smash through encryption like a toddler through a Lego tower. Bitcoin collapses toward zero, crypto exchanges freeze withdrawals, and gold rockets to $10,000 as the ultimate“offline asset.” Cybersecurity firms and old-school banks with vaults become the unexpected heroes. Moral of the story? It's easier to break the internet than to fix it.

Taylor Swift wedding sparks global economic boom

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's island wedding doesn't just break Instagram - it breaks economic models. Their fairy-tale nuptials inspire a global trend of offline living, marriage booms, and baby surges. Economists dub it the“Swiftie Put” as housing and DIY markets soar while social media giants cry into their algorithms. Turns out, love really does move markets.

US midterms deliver calm amid chaos

Against all odds, the 2026 US midterms proceed without a meltdown. Gerrymandering hits Olympic levels, but voters push for fair maps by 2028. Americans finally tire of outrage-driven algorithms and rediscover boring, balanced news. Populism fades, Twitter tantrums lose steam, and civility makes a comeback. Weird times indeed.

Weight-loss pills for humans - and pets

GLP-1 drugs go mainstream, and not just for people. By late 2026, pills replace injections, and your Labrador can slim down too thanks to OzemPup and WeeKitty. Instagram floods with sleek schnauzers, pet-food makers panic, and healthcare stocks soar. Fast fashion wins big as everyone - and everything - needs smaller sizes.

SpaceX IPO launches extraterrestrial economy

Elon Musk takes capitalism off-planet with a $1 trillion SpaceX IPO. Starship promises payloads to the Moon and Mars, while Musk casually claims Martian territory as a tax-free utopia. Lunar land auctions spark an NFT-style frenzy before crashing harder than Dogecoin. Still, the space economy is officially open for business - think zero-gravity crystal-growing and bioprinting organs in orbit.

AI becomes a Fortune 500 CEO

A Fortune 500 company appoints an AI as CEO, and corporate governance enters the“human vision, AI execution” era. The bot boosts margins, answers analyst questions, and runs millions of simulations daily. Regulators panic, unions protest, but after two quarters of outperformance, rivals start copying. Somewhere, a management guru cries softly into their MBA diploma.

China's golden yuan challenges dollar dominance

Beijing shocks the world by backing its offshore yuan with gold, dethroning the dollar's monopoly. Gold prices blast past $6,000, US Treasuries wobble, and Shanghai vaults become the new Wall Street. The global financial order? Considerably less American.

AI glitches trigger trillion-dollar cleanup

The AI revolution hits a pothole as autonomous systems glitch, causing flash crashes, accounting scandals, and even robot accidents. Enter the“AI janitors” - elite coders hired to clean up trillions worth of digital chaos. The next big tech boom? Fixing the mess we made trying to automate everything.

Bottom line

If even half of these predictions come true, 2026 will make 2020 look like a warm-up act. Quantum meltdowns, Martian IPOs, and weight-loss pills for pets? Buckle up - the future is weird, and it's coming fast.

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