By Aisha Hasnain

Nine years ago, on November 6, 2016, I was out shopping with my parents. Those days Kashmir had a calendar for days without a curfew. I was in grade 11 and I was carrying with myself some savings of Rs 1,100. I spent it all on a hardcover book, The Universe in a Nutshell by Stephen Hawking. It made me the happiest. Back then I used to be a science and math student, unaware of the fact that I will not be able to make it beyond grade 12.

My mental health issues, which led to physical weaknesses, started in the summer of 2015. I had made it out of a huge panic attack in April 2016. The next was going to be on this fateful day of November 6. It was triggered by a tense fight between my parents in the car. I kept begging them to stop but they could not oblige. The only way my brain felt it could cope was by asking me to consider jumping out of the window of the running car.

That night was one of the heaviest as I kept crying in my bed. I cried a lot in the morning prayers as well the next day. Today on November 6, 2025, as I prayed in the morning, I asked myself the important question,“What has changed?”

My my! The negative energies that used to surround me have only become stronger than ever.

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