'The Conjuring: Last Rites' Is Confused About What It's Supposed To Be

The problem with a horror movie that plays at being nostalgic is that it's confusing for fans like me. On the one hand, you are trying to fire up the neurons in your amygdala – that tiny structure that is involved in your fight-or-flight response in a situation (you are, after all, watching horror and some goosebumps are in order). And on the other, you are half mesmerised by times gone by. When it comes in the form of a movie like The Conjuring: Last Rites, which is out in the UAE cinemas now, it's also rather awkward.

For one thing, the automatic brain burp is: 'Oh it's the possessed lady from three movies ago. She's looking a bit older'....and off you spiral into questions of timeline, your brain bringing up all matter of tangential information (including your own age with reference to when the movie first released), essentially dragging you away from the narrative that you've come to see; the case that ended it all.

Yes, this is the case that changed everything – but not because someone died or a ghosty got the upper hand. It's more because, well, the keys to the million-dollar franchise (and literally, the spoils of previous cases) have been handed over to the next generation. The show will go on, albeit with another name (now that the daughter has gotten married and changed names and the Warrens are too old to take on another case). Cue the ceremonial send-off of the bride complete with tears and slow dancing.

The missing piece: Where is Valak?! I never thought I'd say this, but I miss that evil-looking nun. While the Nun II saw the demon that's hounded the Warrens for years, across movies, go down, the timelines don't match. After all, Nun II is set in 1956 while the first Conjuring was set in 1971 – and the Nun seemed 'unalive' and well up until the last banishment.

Are we to believe Valak is gone and the only full circle moment is when Judy meets someone willing to accept her (like her dad accepted her mum)? And while Valak is sitting this one out, its victims are out in full force for Sunday barbecues and wedding planning?

Either the demon is confused or the movie-maker is – nostalgia is wonderful, but in The Conjuring universe, it's kinda horrific.

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