'Emotionally Rejected By Husbands...': Netizens Share Why Indian Women Depend On Their Sons For Emotional Needs

(MENAFN- Live Mint) In India, marriages are often seen as a union not just between two individuals but between two families, though, culturally, the man's family often takes precedence over the woman's.

Among the many changes that a woman has to tackle post-marriage is her relationship with her mother-in-law (MIL), which is often tense, mainly because of the mother's deep emotional dependence on her son.

In a viral Reddit post, a woman sought answers from social media users to understand why Indian women completely depend on their sons for their emotional needs.

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She shared that she has observed that mother-in-laws , especially in India, treat their daughter-in-laws more like adversaries than new members:“Any good thing in their son is because he is their son; any bad thing in their son is because he married that girl, and she is a bad girl.”

Sharing a personal incident, the woman said that she was travelling with her husband when her MIL started crying that her son doesn't take her anywhere, only goes with his wife.

In another incident, she said that she had cooked her husband's favourite meal, and when he shared it with his mother, she responded,“Remember I cooked so much for you when you were a kid, but you were never this excited?”

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The woman said that she found it weird because, as a daughter, when she tells her mother about the ways her husband takes care of her,“she becomes so happy.”

Here's how netizens reacted:

Both men and women on Reddit immediately recognised the pattern of emotional dependence in the MIL and said that it is common in women who were likely emotionally rejected by their husbands to later form total emotional dependence on their sons.

“This, because their emotional needs were never fulfilled by their husbands,” a social media user said.

To which, another added,“They were/are often stuck in arranged marriages with men who don't like them, listen to them, or care for them. They raised their sons from babies, cared for them, and now their sons are the only ones they feel close to.”

“Daughters, culturally, are expected to leave the family. Not sons. So they view the DiL as competition for their only source of emotional connection and fulfilment,” the user said.“It comes from a place of love and seeking connection, but ends up as emotional incest and unhealthy dependency. They try to get from their sons what their husbands can't or won't provide.”

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A netizen shared that the emotional dependence of women on their sons is a psychological phenomenon called emotional enmeshment.“The husband ignores his spouse. If the spouse has a son, they will try to mould them into the husband they wish they had, hence the term sonsband in Western countries.”

Some men also shared some very interesting insights into the chatter with examples from their personal lives.

“I absolutely vouch for the insensitive approach of the mothers, which led to my divorce due to constant meddling of mine in my marriage, and this is not even the beginning. It's been 10 years since, and the callous approach of rejecting any other girl when I like has got me bonkers,” a man said.“We need to break the cycle.”

Another man noted that the only practical solution to it is to set firm boundaries and move out of the home.“I did the same when I saw my elder brother's marriage getting ruined over my mom's overdependence on my brother. I didn't want that situation in my life, and hence I set clear, firm boundaries before my marriage. I was her 'hath se nikla' hua beta, and I am proud that I took a stand and learnt my lesson from my brother's situation.”

“This is easy to do when you are not married, so set firm boundaries even before marriage,” he added.

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