10 Behaviors That Reveal He's Just Pretending To Love You

(MENAFN- Budget and the Bees)

Intuition is a powerful thing, but when we are in love, we often put it on mute. You might feel a nagging sense that something is off, even though he says all the right things. He calls you“babe,” he shows up for dates, and yet... you don't feel safe. You feel anxious.

Sometimes, a partner is going through the motions of a relationship without the emotional investment. He might be keeping you around for convenience, for an ego boost, or simply because he doesn't want to be alone. Don't settle for being a placeholder in someone else's life. Here are ten behaviors that reveal he is just pretending to love you.

1. Future Faking

He talks constantly about the future-the trips you'll take next summer, the house you'll buy one day, the names of your future kids. But strangely, he never makes concrete plans for next weekend. This is called“future faking.” He uses fantasies of the future to keep you hooked in the present, without having to deliver on any actual commitment today. It is a cheap way to buy your loyalty and affection. If his words paint a masterpiece but his actions draw a stick figure, pay attention to the actions.

2. Only Available on His Terms

You hang out when he is free, when he is bored, or when he wants intimacy. But if you have a bad day and need support, he is suddenly busy, working late, or“asleep.” A man who loves you makes space for you, even when it is inconvenient. He moves things around to be there. If the relationship runs entirely on his schedule and you are always the one adjusting, you are an accessory, not a partner.

3. Pocketing (Hiding You)

You have been dating for six months, but you haven't met his friends or family. He doesn't post you on social media. You usually hang out at your place or his, but rarely go out in public where you might run into people he knows. This is called“pocketing.” He is keeping you separate from his real life, likely because he doesn't see you as a long-term part of it. He is hiding you to keep his options open or because he is already involved with someone else.

4. Defensive About His Phone

Privacy is normal; secrecy is not. If he guards his phone like it contains nuclear codes, flipping it face down or taking it to the bathroom every time, he is hiding something. He might even accuse you of being crazy if you glance at it. A partner who is fully invested in you doesn't need to panic when a text comes in. This level of defensiveness creates a wall of mistrust that real love cannot survive. He is protecting his other life from you.

5. No Deep Questions

He asks,“How was your day?” but he never asks,“What are you afraid of?” or“What is your biggest dream?” He keeps the conversation surface-level, focusing on logistics or entertainment. If he isn't curious about who you are at your core, he isn't in love with *you*; he is in love with the role you play in his life. Emotional intimacy requires curiosity. Without it, you are just strangers killing time together.

6. Inconsistent Communication

He texts you non-stop for three days, then goes silent for two. This“hot and cold” behavior is a control tactic. It keeps you anxious and constantly chasing him for validation. Consistency is the hallmark of care. If you never know which version of him, you are going to get-the attentive boyfriend or the distant ghost-he is not emotionally safe. He is using intermittent reinforcement to keep you addicted.

7. Physical But Not Emotional Intimacy

The chemistry in the bedroom might be fire, but the living room is cold. After intimacy, does he roll over and sleep, or does he connect with you? Does he touch you non-sexually?

If he touches your body but never touches your heart, he is using the relationship for physical release, not emotional connection. You are filling a physical need, but he isn't invested in your emotional well-being.

8. You Are the Secret

He tells you things like,“We don't need labels,” or“Let's just keep this between us for now.” While privacy is fine initially, keeping a relationship secret indefinitely is a major red flag. This behavior is often called pocketing. He separates you from his friends and family to prevent his worlds from colliding.

Consequently, he can easily discard the relationship without having to explain it to anyone. A man who loves you wants to claim you. He is proud to be with you and wants the world to know. If he keeps you in the shadows, it is often because he doesn't want to burn bridges with other women. You are not a dirty little secret; therefore, do not allow anyone to treat you like one.

9. He Doesn't Compromise

Every movie you watch is his choice. Every restaurant is his preference. If you suggest something different, he pouts, argues, or makes you feel guilty until you give in. Over time, your own preferences start to disappear to keep the peace. You eat what he wants, go where he wants, and see who he wants.

Love requires compromise. It is a negotiation of needs where both partners give and take. If he always gets his way, he views you as a sidekick in his movie, not an equal co-star. Your happiness is secondary to his comfort. A partner who cares about you will find joy in doing things simply because they make you happy.

10. You Feel Anxious, Not Safe

The biggest sign isn't what he does; it is how you feel. Your body knows. If you are constantly analyzing his texts, asking friends for advice, and feeling a knot in your stomach, trust that. Your nervous system detects danger long before your conscious brain admits it.

You might mistake this high-stakes anxiety for passion, but it is actually instability. True love feels like safety. Pretend love feels like anxiety. Stop trying to decode him and start listening to yourself. Peace is the ultimate indicator of a healthy connection.

Don't Settle for Crumbs

You deserve the whole cake, not just the crumbs he brushes off the table. Walking away from a situation that gives you anxiety is an act of self-love. It creates the necessary space for the right person to enter your life. If you recognize these signs, have the courage to walk away and find the real thing. Do not let the fear of being alone keep you in a crowded room where you feel invisible.

Which of these behaviors was the final straw in your last relationship? Share your story in the comments.

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