What Suicidal Teens Say Matters Most To Them

(MENAFN- The Conversation) Why would a suicidal teenager choose to live? It's not the kind of question most of us ever want to ask. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15-29 year olds worldwide. Much of the research and media coverage still focuses on why teens might want to die. Far less often do we ask the opposite, equally urgent question: what makes life worth holding on to?

In our new study , we asked adolescents who had been hospitalised for suicidal thoughts or behaviour to name their three strongest reasons for staying alive. Their answers, gathered during safety planning (a standard part of care where patients and clinicians work together to identify coping strategies and reasons to keep living) offer a rare and unfiltered glimpse into the motivations that keep young people going, even at their lowest point.

The single most common word in the dataset was“my”. That may sound insignificant, but it tells us something powerful. Adolescents weren't speaking abstractly about life or philosophy – they were talking about their people, their goals, their pets and their plans. This reflects a sense of belonging, which research shows is one of the strongest protective factors against suicide.

To capture these patterns, we used corpus-driven language analysis , a method that examines the frequency and use of words across large sets of text. In this case, we analysed the exact words of 211 adolescents aged 13–17 who had recently been admitted to a US psychiatric hospital for suicidal thoughts or behaviour.

Our goal was to identify common themes and better understand what keeps suicidal young people tethered to life – in their own words.

When we looked more closely at the nouns, three themes stood out.

First, their relationships. Family (especially mums and younger siblings), friends and pets featured most often.

Second, future hopes. Teens mentioned careers, dreams of travel, or simply a curiosity“to see what the future holds.”

Thirds, possessions and independence. They talked about getting a car, moving out, owning a house or even just“doing my own makeup.”

Among the most common verbs were action words like“want”,“be” and“see” – forward-looking and full of intention. Adolescents spoke of wanting to grow up, travel, become someone (“a welder” or“professional wrestler”, for example) and finding happiness. Even in distress, their language carried movement, desire and a drive toward the future.

Adjectives added emotional colour. Words such as“happy”,“good”,“okay” and“better” reflected modest, grounded hopes for relief, while“own” suggested control and self-expression:“my own space,”“my own style,”“my own life.”

And within the dataset, the responses were highly individual. Some were deeply emotional:“I saw how my dad cried and I don't want him to cry like that again,” or“To not make my mom sad.” Others were more specific:“I want to read 100 books this year,” or“I want to get some bad-ass tattoos.” One patient put it simply:“YOLO” (you only live once).

From despair to desire

At first glance, asking suicidal teens what keeps them alive may seem paradoxical, since media reports and suicide research tend to concentrate on why young people want to die. But research shows that the majority of young people who experience suicidal thoughts do not go on to attempt suicide.

Among those who do, some later report a stronger sense of connection and purpose after surviving.

In our study, 97% of adolescents were able to identify three reasons to live, despite the emotional turmoil that had brought them to hospital. This suggests that even in crisis, many young people retain a desire to live if they can anchor themselves to something – or someone – that matters.

Some feared the consequences of suicide, not for themselves but for others. A few cited religious concerns. Others worried about the physical pain involved. But overwhelmingly, the reasons for living were hopeful, relational and future-oriented.

A tool for therapy, not just research

These findings carry clear clinical implications. Someone's reasons for living shouldn't be treated as just another box on a checklist. They can be a springboard for conversation and healing. When a teen says,“I want to be a vet,” or“I want to take care of my little sister,” it opens the door to meaningful, personalised treatment.

Helping adolescents articulate their reasons for living can build rapport, clarify therapy goals and enhance motivation. It can also be used to challenge unhelpful thoughts – like“I'm a burden” or“No one cares” – with concrete, self-generated evidence to the contrary.

Most importantly, reasons for living remind teens, and those who care for them, that even in amid despair they still have something to live for.

By listening to the things that matter to them we can see how small sparks of hope can give a suicidal young person a reason to keep living. sutadimages/Shutterstock

While risk factors such as trauma, mental illness, bullying and identity struggles remain well known, we too often overlook the anchors that help teens hold on. A 2024 US survey found that nearly one in ten high school students – around 9.5% – attempted suicide in 2023. That number reminds us adolescent suicide isn't abstract, it's real and it's happening now.

By tuning into their own words, whether it's their sister, their dog, a concert, or just the dream of getting some“bad-ass tattoos”, we can start to understand what makes life feel worth living for a young person considering or attempting suicide. Sometimes the smallest hope is enough to keep someone going.

If you would like more information or to talk to someone about any issues raised in this article, here are some recommended contacts:

Harmless : a user-led organisation for people who self-injure, as well as their friends and families;

The Samaritans : the 24/7 support service has also published reports on self-injury for all four UK countries;

Self-injury Support : information and support for people who self-injure, including a self-harm diary and support groups for men and women;

LifeSigns : a user-led self-injury guidance and support network;

NHS – where to get help for self-harm : a long list of resources.

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