Eid: Traditions That Weigh Heavily On Poor Families

ZARANJ/ SHIBERGHAN (Pajhwok): Eid is supposed to be a time of joy, however, for some families with engaged sons, these days bring more anxiety and financial pressure than happiness.

Muslims celebrate two Eids each year- Eid al-Fitr and Eid-al-Adha. Eid-al-Adha is one of the most significant religious occasions in Islam, marked by prayers, sacrifice, family visits and cultural traditions. It is a time to express devotion to God and a sense of community.

As Eid-al-Adha approaches, markets become colourful and crowded, children gaze eagerly at new clothes and homes take on a festive scent. But behind these smiles lies a harsh reality, families who, burdened by heavy customs, debt, unemployment and poverty, are unable to truly celebrate.

Zarmina, an inhabitant of Macroryan 1 area of capital Kabul, who was out shopping for Eid items, told Pajhwok Afghan News:“Eid is a time for happiness and gathering with family and friends.”

She added:“We have prepared well for Eid- bought dried fruits, cakes and biscuits and new clothes for myself, my husband and our children. We even got a sheep for the Qurbani (sacrifice).”

Abdul Nasir, a father of three children from Shiberghan, capital of Jawzjan province, said:“Every year, a few weeks before Eid, I purchase new clothes for my children because I don't want their Eid joy to be diminished.”

A mother in Nimroz: Eid has broken my back and my son's

The tradition of sending Eid gifts to the bride's home – including clothes, sweets and sacrificial animals – has become a costly and exhausting custom that has turned joy into bitterness for many families and robbed young people of the spirit of celebration.

Khatira Barakzai, a resident of Zaranj and a mother whose son has been engaged for three years, said economic hardship has prevented them from holding a wedding ceremony. Half of her son's annual income, she said, goes into buying Eid clothes, fruits, and sacrificial animals for the bride's family.

Expressing frustration with these customs, she said:“My son works at a flour packaging company and earns 6,000 afghanis a month. Every Eid, he has to buy clothes, fruits, and a sheep for Qurbani. Two or three months of his salary are spent on this. There's nothing left for household needs. If we don't do it, the bride's family complains and says their daughter will feel inferior compared to her peers. These competitive customs have broken both my back and my son's.”

She stressed the need to challenge and change these unwarranted traditions so that no young person is harmed by them.

Sanam, another mother in Zaranj, said her son, who works as a school teacher, has been engaged for four years.

She explained,“This year, teachers haven't received two months' salary yet. My son tried to get a loan but couldn't. I had to sell my ring so we could buy Eid clothes, fruits, and make the sacrifice. Poor thing, where is he supposed to get the money from? I wish these customs are done away with.”

She added that in the current economic crisis, many families can't even afford basic Eid expenses for their own homes. Still, under pressure from the bride's family, they are forced to borrow money and meet these demands.

She said:
“When Eid arrives, others are celebrating, but for us, it feels like the whole world's problems fall on our shoulders.”

Engaged man: 'I work until midnight to afford Eid gifts for my fiancée'

Mohsen, a resident of Zaranj city, said he has been engaged for five years and, with his teacher's salary, has had to bear the cost of Eid, Qurbani, Iftar and more each year.

He said,“This year, I didn't have money, and my fiancée understood that. But her mother said, 'It will tarnish our reputation before our relatives.' So, I started doing labour work on the border after school hours a month before Eid, just to save enough money for her Eid clothes and the Qurbani.”

He also called for an end to these customs and traditions, saying they are not part of Islam.

Saber, another resident of Shiberghan city, described the Eid gift-giving custom to the bride's family as harmful:
“I've been engaged for three years, but we still can't afford to arrange the wedding. My fiancée's family insists all customs must be followed. I run a small shop that just covers household needs – I haven't even paid the bride price yet. They say, 'Our daughter will only get married once; she has big dreams, and the ceremony must be grand.'”

As the sole provider for his family of five, he said these traditions were crushing and urged families to prioritise their children's future over costly customs.

Experts: Such customs have no place in Islam

Ghulam Sakhi Shahbazi, an economic and cultural expert in Nimroz, said:
“Customs like Eid gifts, Brati (pre-Eid gifts), and Qurbani have been practiced for generations in Afghanistan, but instead of becoming lighter as the economy worsens, they've become heavier. The expenses have become a harmful cultural burden on the people.”

He stressed the importance of challenging these practices.

Maulvi Gul Ahmad Ahmadi, a religious scholar in Nimroz, also stated that such customs have no basis in Islam and families should avoid them.

He said,“The Holy Qur'an says: 'Indeed, Allah does not like the wasteful.' So we must avoid extravagance.”

Meanwhile, Mohammad Alam, a religious scholar in Jawzjan, said that Eid al-Adha, the Great Eid of Muslims, is meant to be a time of sacrifice, generosity, and sowing love among relatives and the poor.

But, he added, customs that result in financial hardship and debt for families are not acceptable in Islam.
“Eid should be for everyone – not just for the wealthy,” he concluded.

kk/ma

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