'Not Going To Allow Our Baby To Be Thrown Into The River': Sonia Gandhi Recalls Death Of Her Firstborn In Memoir

(MENAFN- Live Mint) Senior Congress leader Sonia Gandhi recounts the experience of losing her first child in her recently released memoir, Belonging: A Journey of Love.

In the book, Gandhi recalls how the household was filled with joy in September 1968 when she announced her pregnancy. Even Indira Gandhi, whom she described as usually stern, showed rare affection, embracing her daughter-in-law and exclaiming,“One big baby having another baby!” The account was highlighted in an excerpt cited by The Times of India.

On 18 January 1969, Sonia Gandhi gave birth to a premature baby, two months before her due date. While the family initially celebrated the birth, they were soon devastated to learn that the newborn had died.

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Recounting the deeply personal tragedy publicly for the first time, Gandhi wrote that her husband, Rajiv Gandhi, and brother-in-law, Sanjay Gandhi, buried the baby at Feroze Gandhi's farmhouse in Mehrauli.

'We fell in love with him immediately'

Gandhi recalled the moment she first saw her newborn son, describing him as a tiny but perfectly formed baby.

“I heard the baby's first cry as he was placed in the incubator. Later Rajiv took me to see him, a tiny, perfectly formed boy, with thick, black hair and long, slim fingers. We gazed at him together, Rajiv's arm around my shoulder. We fell in love with him immediately.”

She added that doctors had already warned Rajiv Gandhi that the newborn had slim chances of survival. The baby died the following morning at 6:30 am.

She wrote,“With Amie Aunty beside him, he broke it gently to me when, at 6:30 in the morning, the end came. 'No, it was not possible! Why, why,' I kept asking. Both of us were shocked and heartbroken; we held each other tight. I cried my heart out, and Rajiv, in spite of his 'stiff upper lip' upbringing, also wept copiously.”

Indira Gandhi rushed to the hospital

According to the memoir, Indira Gandhi, who was then the Prime Minister, cut short her tour and rushed to the hospital to be with the grieving couple.

Gandhi recalled,“She embraced us, her eyes red and swollen, and sat with us for a long time. She wanted to remain with us, she said, but had to complete her tour engagement. She left early the next morning, full of sorrow: She, too, had so looked forward to the happy event.”

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Following the baby's death, the family faced the difficult question of how to perform his last rites. Gandhi wrote that, according to Hindu tradition, newborns are not cremated and are usually immersed in a river. However, she was unwilling to accept this practice for her child.

“No,' I whispered. 'No matter what, I'm not going to allow our baby to be thrown into the river.'...'No, I couldn't do that to my baby, no matter how sacred the river was,' I said, breaking into sobs. How could I consent to do something that seemed to me so alien and heartless to my tiny child, already deprived of his chance to live?”

Gandhi reportedly recalled a disturbing sight from her past that reinforced her opposition: the body of a swollen man trapped near the Okhla barrage, while stray dogs tried to pull it out.

'The venom of those words scarred my heart'

The loss left Gandhi depressed and struggling with feelings of guilt. Her grief was compounded when a right-wing opposition newspaper published an article with the headline, "Indira Gandhi failed in her attempt to become the grandmother of a bastard child."

Recalling the impact of the article, she wrote, "The venom of those words scarred my heart. How could people be so cruel? What had I done to deserve such malice? The hurt caused by that spiteful comment added to the heartbreak of my loss and to my feeling of inadequacy."

Gandhi announced her next pregnancy in October 1969 and gave birth to Rahul Gandhi on 19 June 1970.

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