My best friend is getting married, so are many others I know. In fact, I've had an unprecedented number of wedding invites this year, and every time another one lands, I catch myself thinking, "Oh my gosh, is it time already? What's the rush? Aren't your 20s all about discovering yourself? And how can you make that discovery while both literally and figuratively 'tying the knot' with another human being?"

Maybe it's the movie buff in me, obsessed with coming-of-age stories but I've always romanticised the idea of your 20s being a decade dedicated to you. You try that idiosyncratic job. You go for your first of many solo trips. You attend weddings not longing but feeling glad that you don't have to worry about putting a down payment on a house in which you'll raise your future kids. You can truly be free of responsibility - to whatever extent your privilege allows, of course - and use that freedom to pour every ounce of energy into you.

Sure, the decades to follow will bring the marriage, the love, the kids (if you want them). So, why not use the messiness of your 20s to be fully messy? To explore different shades of solitude, to revel in the beauty of getting to know yourself, and by extension, getting to know the kind of partner you may want for the rest of your life? If you don't know yourself, how could you possibly know the kind of person you want to end up with?

And it is this quest of coming into your own, as authentically as you can, that mirrors how Gen-Z is redefining the rules of marriage. The generation, infamous for being rebels, has finally attained 'marriageable' age and if you can count on us to be disruptors in the workforce, so why not in the wedding arena?

Sure, we're experimenting with lab-grown diamonds, being mindful about things like food wastage on our big day, minimising guest lists to intimate affairs, and going for that minimalist Pinterest moodboard. Because in an age of digital overwhelm, less really is more for us.

But beyond the external aesthetics, we're also a generation overexposed to information and by extension, overexposed to awareness. Hyper-aware of what happens when partners drift apart, when marriages don't work out, of how childhood trauma shapes adulthood. Burdened with the paradox of choosing celebration in a world that's frequently falling apart, with war, disease, chaos all around. And maybe that's exactly why, whether we choose to say 'I do' or 'I do not', we want it to mean something. In a generation defined by choice, intentionality matters more than convention.

We're not running away from love or rejecting the idea of marriage, we're just learning to meet ourselves first. So, when we finally say 'I do', we know exactly who's standing there... on both sides of the aisle. So, we don't cheat ourselves in the process. So, we ask why, and know the answer to it too.

In fact, if we do manage to find the answer - something I've dedicated my 20s to - the conviction with which we go after our dreams, and our marriage, becomes far stronger because we weren't just thrown into oblivion or pushed into making choices without being adequately informed or aware.

Coming from a South Asian family, my mother entered an arranged marriage when she was really young and did not quite understand what marriage truly entailed - and she's made sure the same isn't repeated for me. So, as a generation that has the luxury of choice and the privilege of not rushing into hurried decisions, no longer facing the same pressures our parents once did, the least we can do is be intentional about the choices we make.

And I see this playing out in friends around me, too. Sure, I have a lot of friends marching towards the finish line of marriage, but I also have just as many who haven't - and that's okay, too. That's the beauty of being born into this generation of extremes - you choose by will, and no matter how out-of-mould or“with it” your choices may be, they all exist in unison and are all acceptable. The bride isn't judging the singleton, and the singleton is cheering the bride walking down the aisle.

Because when you choose to be intentional about the life you want, your response will not be a cut-copy-paste of societal conventions, it will be something that feels aligned and true to your core. And that intention doesn't just shape how our weddings 'look' but more importantly, what they mean for us. Our celebrations might be smaller, but our awareness - of who we are and what we stand for - has never been louder.

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