Mother-In-Law Doesn't Allow The Father To Spend Time With Baby: Social Media Reacts, Grandparents Are Blessings, But...

(MENAFN- Live Mint) A father on Reddit said that he feels“disconnected” from his newborn baby because his mother-in-law is not allowing him any bonding time. He also listed some specific concerns he had faced ever since the MIL moved in to help with the child.

In a lengthy rant post, a 33-year-old Indian man shared that his mother-in-law has been staying with him to help with the newborn. However, he said, while he truly appreciates her support,“her involvement is starting to create serious tension in our home - especially between me, my wife, and even my connection with our baby”.

The man said that limited bonding time, disregard for their parenting approach, and emotional manipulation were among the key issues that bothered him.

In the now-viral Reddit post, the man shared that he works full-time, and between the baby's wake window and his office hours, he gets about 10 minutes each morning to spend with the baby.

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“But even in those short minutes, my MIL insists on holding or playing with the baby. She dominates that time, leaving me sidelined.”

He also said that he and his wife are trying to follow“evidence-based, modern parenting practices,” but the MIL ignores their decisions and interferes despite explanations.

The man claimed that his MIL is trying to push the baby to walk before they're ready, and brushes off all requests to stop.

The Redditor also said that the MIL undermines and guilt-trips him when he tries to explain their parenting choices to her.“She says things like, 'What do you know? Have you raised a child before?' or 'I've been with the baby all day while you're at work'.”

“She only says these things when my wife isn't around,” the man noted, adding that if he ever calls out her behaviour in front of his wife, the MIL goes off to cry in a corner,“and my wife ends up pressuring me to apologise for 'hurting' her mother.”

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Meanwhile, he said, his wife is also complaining about him not being more hands-on as a dad.“When I explain how MIL is interfering, she tells me I should just 'overrule' her mom - but she doesn't seem to acknowledge how hard that is without causing drama or conflict,” he said.

“I'm grateful for MIL's help. But it's clearly coming at a cost - I feel pushed out, disconnected from my child, and increasingly frustrated,” he reiterated, saying that he was considering taking a short sabbatical from work to stay home with the baby,“but only if MIL steps out for a while”.

“That way, I can bond with the baby and reduce the emotional tension. But I worry how this proposal will be received,” he added.

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Social media users offered the man good advice and suggested that he start establishing concrete boundaries rather than compromise on bonding time with the baby.

“Having grandparents around is such a blessing, but not at the parents' cost. This entitlement of 'baby is mine' that some grandparents get is so hard to fight against, but this is your child and you shouldn't have to take a backseat with YOUR child,” said a user.

A user suggested,“Dude, establish clear boundaries early on. It's your baby for god's sake. Your problem shouldn't be taking sabbatical, mil not stepping out for a while or offending anyone, it should be making compromises when baby is involved.”

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One netizens shared his personal experience, growing up with grandparents and said,“I am 23 year old guy and my childhood was wasted at my paternal grandparents house everyday..especially due to my grandmother who is very toxic and constantly compares me to other children in her neighborhood due to which developed inferiority complex she also sowed seeds f hatred in my mind for my cousins and relatives...i wish i was raised by my parents it would have been better and i would have childhoodi could tell people...only if my father had took a stand i would have had great childhood ....so op this crucial u cant just let ur child raised by someone take a stand ..no matter what the cost its hard but ur child will thank you for it.”

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