The Joke's On Us: Kashmir's Cruel Turn Against Its Elders

(MENAFN- Kashmir Observer)
Representational Photo

By Peerzada Mohsin Shafi

June 15 is marked around the world as World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. It's a day of reflection, not just about data or policy but about something much deeper. How we treat the people who once held our hands through life's first steps.

In Kashmir, that question cuts especially deep. Ours was never just a place of natural beauty; it was a place of values. We called it“Peer Waer,” the garden of saints. A land where elders were not merely tolerated, they were treasured. They led prayers, broke bread, settled disputes. Their presence brought calm and clarity. But if we're honest with ourselves today, can we still say the same?

We are watching a silent crisis unfold. Elder abuse is happening here. Not always in the form of bruises or broken bones, but in cold shoulders, sharp tongues, and the unforgiving glare of a phone camera. Sometimes, all it takes to hurt someone is to laugh when they are most vulnerable.

Last year, a video made rounds on social media. It featured an elderly, hearing-impaired man holding his passbook, trying to ask about his delayed pension. Instead of being helped, he was mocked.“Su waate gharrai,” the man filming sneered again and again.“It'll reach your home.”

Read Also '54% Elders Link Ageing With Negative Feelings; Loneliness Most Common Emotion' Letter to Editor: Kashmir's Family Crisis Starts with the Elders We Ignore

That phrase became a joke. Memes followed. The video went viral.

But no one stopped to think: What was this really? A man, old and unwell, seeking the bare minimum: his own money. Instead, he became a punchline.

Then came another video. An older man, recently out of surgery, was cornered in a hospital. A woman filmed him, asking inappropriate questions about his treatment. He tried to keep his dignity. But the moment that clip hit Instagram and WhatsApp, his dignity was torn apart. The comments, the jokes, the laughing emojis. It all drowned out the man behind the pain.

What do these videos say about us? Not just about the individuals filming, but about those of us watching, sharing, laughing. Do we pause to consider the ripple effect? That person on camera has children, maybe grandchildren. And he has feelings.

More troubling still is that these acts of mockery clash directly with what our faith teaches us. Islam doesn't just advise kindness to elders, it demands it. One verse from the Quran states:“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment... say not to them [even] 'uff'...”

(Surah Al-Isra, 17:23)

This isn't poetic suggestion. It's a command. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) made it even clearer when he said,“He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.”

So where did we go wrong?

The change didn't happen overnight. It came gradually, in the form of fast internet, dopamine-fueled content, and a culture that now rewards spectacle over substance. Our smartphones have turned into instruments of humiliation. Videos get clicks. Memes go viral. The human being gets lost.

In our homes, the signs are just as stark. Many elderly parents are now quietly sidelined. Their views are seen as outdated. Their habits become irritants. Conversations flow around them. Meals begin without them. We no longer wait for their nod before making a family decision. Some even face financial manipulation or are denied proper care. But worse than all of that is the slow, grinding erasure of their dignity.

I remember a time when children were told to stand when an elder entered the room. When their blessings were sought before journeys, when stories from their past formed the bedtime lullabies of children. Today, many elders sit alone in corners of crowded homes, their voices fading into the hum of television and the tap of phone screens.

It's easy to blame modernity. But technology isn't the villain here, we are. Our choices, our silence, our casual sharing of cruelty. When we laugh at an old man in pain, what does that say about the kind of people we are becoming?

World Elder Abuse Awareness Day isn't just for reports or candlelight vigils. It's a mirror. And if we dare to look into it, the reflection isn't flattering.

So what do we do? For starters, stop normalizing cruelty. Every time you come across a video that mocks the elderly, ask: would I laugh if this were my father? My grandmother? Would I film my own parents like this?

As families, we need to bring our elders back into the heart of the home. Talk to them. Sit with them. Involve them. Respect them. As a society, we need to do better. Create elder support centers, medical aid programs, legal protections, and above all, foster a culture that treats age not as a weakness but as wisdom.

One day, all of us will grow old. And when we do, we will crave the same things they do now: to be seen, heard, loved.

Kashmir was once the garden of saints. Let's not allow it to become a graveyard of forgotten legacies.

On this day, don't just post a hashtag. Pick up the phone. Sit beside an elder. Ask them about their childhood. Their fears. Their joys. Their stories. And above all, listen.

That simple act of listening might be the first step in reclaiming who we are.

• Peerzada Mohsin Shafi, from Anantnag, J&K, is a research scholar with an M.Tech in Infrastructure Development & Management.

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